You’re kidding right?

Oh this is just awful.  Just awful. I am having my first really bad day. I feel like Count Rugen has put me on the machine and sucked one year of my life away. I’ve been on the couch the majority of the day. When I am upright, I alternate between lightheaded and nauseous. Mr. Forty gave me kale. He thought it might be iron. He put tasty seasoning on the kale. It was tasty. It did not help. But it was tasty. A little note on cravings – I only seem to crave really healthy food. This makes me ever so happy. I have two tastebuds: Healthy and Complete Crap.  I was worried that Complete Crap was going to take over and I would have to confess to a day’s consumption consisting of Ding Dongs and Doritos (both of which fulfill the “D Food Group”).  Fortunately, it has been just the opposite and I have been happily munching on fruits, veggies, eggs, whole grains, etc. I tried eating lots of little healthy meals today – didn’t do a damn bit of good. Ugh. And the cramps. Oh lawd. The cramps. I get that my entire lower half is undergoing a major renovation, but for real, there’s some black light, lava lamp, bean bag bullshit getting moved in down there.  Critter seems to be making quite a happy home out of my girl parts. That’s cool, I get it. I am really happy I’m such a comfy spot to stretch out and grow in.  Again, I still feel good about the make and model of the cramps, but that doesn’t make them any less uncomfortable. I’m wondering if, now that I’m headed into Week 8 (the week of the Raspberry!) if all of a sudden I’m going to get all sorts of nasty symptoms that I had managed to avoid up to this point. I really hope not. I was giving Mr. Forty the greatest compliment I could (under the circumstances) which is this: There is no man I have ever loved the way that I love him. To wit, I am happily giddily carrying 1/2 of his DNA. As lousy as I feel, and it’s pretty lousy today, I can’t think of a better partner to have in this adventure, a better influence to have in Critter’s life, and a better DNA to mix with and make a person.  My whole adult life has been an active, borderline obsessive, prevention of any reproduction possibilities – and here I am, embracing the idea with the enthusiasm of a true believer. I wouldn’t advocate “babies for everyone!” In fact, most people I advocate “condoms for everyone!” But waiting all these years was exactly the path I was meant to be on. Because even though I have the common concerns and little worries that nag any First-Timer there are things I don’t fear. I don’t fear raising this child with my partner. I don’t fear whether or not I want this child in our life. I don’t fear if Mr. Forty is ready for this. I don’t fear if I’m ready for this. I mean, of course we’re not ready. We won’t ever be ready. But with Mr. Forty, I feel awfully prepared. And the surprises? Those tend to be our favorite parts of life. So I think we’re going to be okay. As soon as I find the energy to get my ass of the...