Special Relativity

a few minutes back…

Ms: I’m already making plans for Critter’s … oh, I guess third Christmas. Because she’ll be old enough to understand some things but not really know what’s going on.

Mr: Oh?

Ms: Yeah, like put Elf on a Shelf around the house in awful positions.

Mr: Like butt fuckin’ Mensch on a Bench!

Ms: Exactly! Or sitting in the corner of the litter box with little peppermints scattered around!

A few minutes before that…

Ms: Yeah nobody’s not going to know I’m pregnant wearing this!

Mr: Just tell them you have adult onset spina bifida.

Ms: What? No!

analysis and conclusion

We are horrible people who will destroy our child, but I am apparently that much more horrible.

*kermit arms*